Penelope

Penelope died today. im not sure how or why. i stayed the night at adams last night, when i left, all the birds were fine. i got back at around 3 today..I was in my room opening some mail, the birds were all screaming for attention, except her... kept saying her name, and saying hello, she usually says something back, but she wasnt...so i walked over to see what was wrong. i thought she was asleep because she had her head/upper body inside her little sleep pouch (a little cloth thing that hangs from the cage) i moved it off of her face and touched my hand to her to get her to step up, but she couldnt. i knew immediately that she was dying. I picked her up and took her to the living room and laid her on the couch, she just fell over... i said to my dad "shes dying!" he said "huh? why?" i said i didnt know...he said well hurry up and wrap her in a towel, and lets get to the vet. i said it wasnt going to do any good and started crying. I knew she was beyond hope. I could feel it. I could feel her dying. He picked her up said we at least owed her a chance

So i grabbed a towel, just as he was about to put her in it, she closed her eyes and that was it. She dyed in his hands... In a way i feel like I should have been the one holding her when she took her final breath, but in a way, im not sure that I could have handled it. It must be a powerful thing, feeling something die in your hands...

i keep thinking, if i just had stayed home last night...

i can only hope that it was not preventable.

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