.:really should be leaving, but i stay:.

He's back. Of course. There is so much, so much that I could say, but nothing is inspiring me.

I cried when we made love the first time after he returned. It wasn't out of sadness, or even happiness really, I guess. It was just the only way such intense emotion could be expressed.

Last night I spent an hour sitting in a hot tub and being pep talked by Mark about NYC. It seems like the more sure of the whole thing that he becomes, the more iffy I get.

I sort of want to get a place here, with Adam for a while. But January is so, so close.

I don't know what I want. I have no clear goals. I guess that's always been my problem.

One thing I want, for sure, is to have a picnic. That's about as far as it goes right now.

:|cause|:|effect|:

picnic
[09/07/2003@9:13 PM] [picnic] recently... test - 02/21/2018 change - 07/18/2004 good day - 04/26/2004 help - 04/15/2004 eh - 03/30/2004	He's back. Of course. There is so much, so much that I could say, but nothing is inspiring me. I cried when we made love the first time after he returned. It wasn't out of sadness, or even happiness really, I guess. It was just the only way such intense emotion could be expressed. Last night I spent an hour sitting in a hot tub and being pep talked by Mark about NYC. It seems like the more sure of the whole thing that he becomes, the more iffy I get. I sort of want to get a place here, with Adam for a while. But January is so, so close. I don't know what I want. I have no clear goals. I guess that's always been my problem. One thing I want, for sure, is to have a picnic. That's about as far as it goes right now. :\|cause\|:\|effect\|:	I read... actiongrl badlock badsnake blab blondeness chubbychic jwinokur littlecough livingwreck over-now perceptions prostituee prowlingleo spanklin tigerknight virgin wishiwasout say somethin', will ya? message dee-signs � 2002
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