la petite mort

What is it about guys in eye makeup?

My "goth boy" fetish started when I saw The Crow when I was a freshman in high school. There was this guy that I had a total crush on, he was so gorgeous, perfect face and dark hair... He was obsessed with the movie and not long after I saw it for the first time, Halloween came along and Eric came to school dressed like the Crow. Nothing ever happened between Eric and I and its just as well because he turned into a psycho-christian I believe during our sophomore or junior year. Even so, Ive had this goth boy/ eye make up/ tortured soul thing ever since. PLUS, Ive always had a fascination with vampires. They are very erotic. Drinking someone in, taking on their power, and especially between 2 vampires, rather than a vampire and a victim, there's the exchange of power and cognizance, an exchange that is both physical and mental. Blood represents the life force, and what closer, more erotic, sensual, hedonistic way to express a bond than to drink of someone? Oral sex draws a particular parallel and I remember seeing a vampire movie once, I don't even remember what it was, where a vampire was waiting in a hotel room for a girl, and when she came in, he swooped down, and well, it didn't really show what he was doing, but his head was between her legs and she was moaning and had a glazed over look in her eyes. Is it sick that that turns me on? I mean, I don't actually want to have someone drink my blood, nor would I drink someone else's blood, but... Its all symbolic. I believe it was the Victorians that called an orgasm "la petite mort" (French for "the little death.") The correlation between a vampire drinking from, and killing someone, and oral sex, taking in, drinking from another in a sense, concluding in an orgasm (little death) are obvious, and its generally recognized that the Victorians popularized the notion of vampires as being sensual, tactile, hedonistic, erotic and not so much animalistic as in German literature. Victorian (and popular modern lit such as Anne Rice novels) portray vampires as being more beautiful than human, more perfect than mortal. Previous to that, German lit made them out to be disgusting, fearsome creatures, which looked not much at all like a human (like in Nosferatu.) Somehow death and sex got all mixed up together, I suppose it could just be because they are probably 2 of the most powerful things on earth... In any case, this was all just a fancy way of saying...

DAMN! Stuart Townsend is HOT as a vampire!

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