learner's permit

I just practically did an entry in an email to Simon. I'm sure he's sick of those by now. To save myself the typing, I'll copy and paste portions of the email here and go from there.

"My main motive when I started (keeping this journal) was to keep a record of things, the way I feel, etc, so that I can go back and read it later. I save all kinds of chats, emails, letters, (yeah, some people still use paper if you can believe it) and I go back and read them. A lot of it is for nostalgic reasons, but I do think I gain perspective on some things by doing it also. I think I might have talked in my journal about how I wish I had kept a journal for much longer than I have because there are so many things I wish I could go back and read about. Now that I have a few people that are actually reading what I write, I do have other motives for writing that I would not have if I were simply keeping a record of things for myself. Anyway, I just realized that this started off being about you and I have turned it into being about me. I hope that doesn't seem self centered, its just that I've been in a very introspective mood and tend to turn everything back onto myself and analyze it and compare myself to other people, etc. I'll shut up and go do an entry now."

Which is what I'm doing.

There's nothing quite like several hours of Moody Blues and the Sneaker Pimps to put me in one of those self reflective, what am I really doing sort of moods. Plus I've been alone for a while. Well, since Mark left yesterday. I don't count my family. Adam is sick. I don't know when I'll see him because he's had 2 days off in the last 3 days and has been too sick, and I doubt he'll have more days off for a while.

Monday I am supposed to go with Mark to get my learner's permit. Oh jeez. When I was 18 or 19 or so, I got one and the lady assumed that I was there to get my license. She told me something like "Well, let's sign you up to come back tomorrow, it's too late today and all the driving testers are gone" When I told her that I just wanted the learner's permit she looked at me funny. I'm sure more of the same will occur Monday. I've been in a very confrontational mode though, and I might just snap and yell at them this time. I am NOT looking forward to driving on Monday and I am NOT looking forward to having to drive with someone in the car who is specifically looking for me to make a mistakes and find reasons not to give me a license. Although I can't say I would really blame them if they didn't. If this all actually works out... and even if it doesn't, really, I'm going to owe so, so much to Mark.

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