babies on the brain

If I had any doubts whatsoever (and I really didn't) that I never want to have children, they are gone now. Adam's sister had her baby on Thursday. She went in at about 6 am and the labor was induced. At ***8:30 PM*** the baby was born. Yeah. Not gonna do that.

The baby is cute. I mean, it's a baby.

Oh yeah. A girl baby.

I've heard the phrase "let's have a baby" come out of Adam's mouth more in the past few days than all the other times I've heard the phrase come out of anyone's mouth in all the rest of my life. I knew this would happen. He's going to have baby fever for a LONG time. You'd think maybe getting to be around a baby would assuage some of the need. But no.

Drove a little bit yesterday. I ask Mark too many questions. By that I mean, I rely on him to tell me if I have time to go or if it's safe to switch lanes, etc. I need to learn to use the mirrors better and judge for myself. I NEVER thought I'd say this, but even though I do still get nervous when I drive, when I think about driving as a concept, I actually think I am getting OVER confident.

ME?? Woah. But I seriously find myself thinking about driving around on the freeways and such. I know intellectually that I'm not ready for it but I just FEEL like I can DRIVE NOW! I used to try to invision myself driving whenever I was riding in the front seat with someone, and I always felt like "NO WAY." A car would swerve and I would think... If I were driving, I would have panicked and run off the road. Or into the car. Or something. In stop and go traffic I used to think "I'll just smack right into the car in front of me!" I don't think I understood the concept that if you just take your foot off the brake, you will inch forward most of the time.

I did a U turn on my street. Of course Mark's car is tiny and I'm not sure that most cars would make that without doing a 3 point. Which I have yet to master. Or even attempt for that matter.

The most amazing thing to me is that when I drive I can actually talk to people about things other than driving. Yeah I ask Mark a lot of questions, but in between, we're talking about other things. And I don't grip the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles turn white anymore.

Also, Adam finally read my journal. He's not upset. We haven't talked about it much, but he's been very affectionate. I mean, verbally. Over the phone. I'll see him tomorrow and apparently, he wants to talk about it. But in a good way. I think.

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