i want my friend back

I hardly ever see Michelle. She's so fucking wrapped up in her boyfriend. Fiancee. Whatever. She's with him about 4-5 days a week and she sees me maybe 1 day every 2 weeks. Actually, for a few weeks in a row, we saw each other on sunday nights, late, for a few hours. We used to hang out at least one day on the weekend and usually at least one day during the week. I understand that she is busy, but she does have a job that allows her quite a bit of freedom to spend time with people during the day while she works. I get a little mad thinking about it, but mostly I get sad. I don't know what to do about it besides talking to her and I just don't know how to go about it without sounding very accusatory. YOU do this and YOU do that YOU YOU YOU. Also, I feel like I can't say anything because I don't drive. But seriously, I don't think it would matter. I mean, she lives just a few minutes away and transportation has rarely if ever been an issue.

Sometimes I feel like I'm bothering her even calling her. 75% of the time, she is at the boyfriends house. She doesn't seem to want to talk and the normal flow of conversation that usually ends up with deciding when we will see each other next never happens. She's over there from sunday afternoon/evening when she gets off work until late sunday night, or monday morning. EVERY WEEK! I don't think I've ever spent that much continuous time with Adam. And we've been together twice as long.

Yesterday, before I went over to see the baby, I called her to see if we were still on for our usual sunday night thing. Turns out she wasn't even coming home, because she had today off of school and work because of the holiday. It was just an extra night to spend with her boyfriend rather than time to see me. Or ANYone else for that matter. It's not like she has 50 other friends to divide her time between. I'm pretty much her ONLY close friend. The few others that existed dropped out of the picture long ago when the boyfriend first appeared on the scene and sometimes I feel like I am bound to follow.

I think I'll call her tomorrow and take the stance of a concerned friend. Ask her if anything is wrong, if I've done something to upset her. I don't know WHAT it could possibly be because I haven't been around her enough to upset her.

I wish I could be mad at the boyfriend. At least that would give me some other target for all this. But I really honestly DON'T blame him. In fact, occasionally when Michelle and I hang out, we'll end up over at his house to drop something off, etc. A quick stop off. And she'll end up dawdling, trying to draw out the visit. On several occasions he's practically chased her out of the house saying things like "Go hang out with your friend!" Or "Wow, your friend looks really entertained"

I can't talk about this anymore.

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