strange conversation

In my life, I would say a fair amount of "strange" things have happened. Bizarre coincidences, things that cannot quite be explained, events which seem surreal in their sheer unexpectedness. Adam went to high school in Florida with a friend of Mark's who I knew long before I met Adam, and who has lived several places in between Florida and here. They both ended up living in TX within 3 or 4 miles of each other and didn't even know it. There was the time that the stereo in the living room came on by itself. It's an old one and it isn't a simple push button or remote that turns it on... Oh no, its a giant, almost lever sized switch (OK I'm exaggerating a little) that must be flipped into the "on" position. There was the time that there was a box turtle in my backyard. NOTHING like that lives near enough to here to have been there. I've lived here for 21 years and I've never seen another turtle that didn't live in a tank in my room.

Something happened today that I believe ranks up there with the strangest things that have ever happened to me. Someone messaged me on yahoo under a name I didn't recognize. Stranger still, it was a female name and females NEVER randomly message me. I assumed it would be a spam bot... Oh how wrong I was...

Here are some important things to know in order to understand the implications of this conversation:

1. I know a guy from high school named Jonathan Thompson. We went to prom together, but we are and were just friends.

2. Jonathan now goes to NYU in NYC.

3. Jonathan is also good friends with Michelle.

4. In case you are unfamiliar with yahoo messenger, it has a feature which allows you to send quite an annoying noise to the chat window of the person you are talking to, to get their attention in case they didn't realize you had answered, or in case they are across the room, etc. It's quite annoying and really shouldn't be done for no reason or when it has been less than 10 SECONDS SINCE YOU SENT YOUR LAST MESSAGE! Anytime it says "Buzz!" it means that the person who is doing the talking has buzzed the other person.

And now... The chat...

maria11981: hi baby

me: do i know you?

maria11981: yeah

me: how?

maria11981: We met at the party

me: uh, yeah whatever

maria11981: Uh yeah WE DID

maria11981: I AM JOHN THOMPSON DON'T FORGET IT!

me: Jonathan?

maria11981: Yeah

me: lol, why are you using this screen name?

maria11981: Because I am at my friends house

me: mmm k

me: i didnt know you knew my yahoo name

**********At this point I wasn't quite sure I believed this person but I figured it was a joke being played by someone I know, or that Jonathan knows.*********

maria11981: Yep

me: so hows school going?

maria11981: great

me: do you like the city?

maria11981: NO! I HATE IT

me: why?

maria11981: To noisy

me: are you serious?

maria11981: yeah

me: maybe i just wasnt there long enough for the noise to get to me

maria11981: yeah I am going to move soon I hope

me: to where?

maria11981: Mexico or Jamiaca

me: what about school?

maria11981: screw school. I want to move

me: have your parents had heart attacks over it yet?

maria11981: Nah, they agree with me

me: are you SURE this is Jonathan thompson?

maria11981: Yes I am sure

me: prove it

maria11981: how?

me: tell me my first and last name and something that you and i did together

maria11981: Jonathan Thompson and we MMMHMMM

me: not YOUR first and last name, MY first and last name

maria11981: Oh (he gives me the fake "real" name that I have listed on my yahoo profile along with a completely made up last name)

me: oh jeez

maria11981: what?

maria11981: I am John

me: then you should know my name

maria11981: yeah

me: or maybe you are just being difficult

*********At this point it was returning to me what a weirdo Jonathan is and how stubborn he can be, so I started to believe him************

maria11981: hehe

maria11981: how is michelle doing?

me: shes engaged and stuff

maria11981: oh really to who/

maria11981: ?

me: (I tell him the guys name)

maria11981: oh

me: im not sure if you met him but you probably heard about him

maria11981: yeah I heard about him

me: so do you REALLY want to move out of NYC?

*****Right after I asked this question I remembered that there are pictures on my yahoo profile that are labeled as "Michelle and I" Then I noticed that Jonathan was on AIM under his usual screen name*****

maria11981: Yeah, I am afraid to live here anymore

me: why?

maria11981: Terrorist attacts are on level RED right now!

me: i thought they lowered it

maria11981: It's up now!!!! I just seen it on CNN and they are talking about going to war with Korea and Iraq right now.

me: you just seen it?

*****Now he is busted. Jonathan would NEVER say "just seen it" I also message him on AIM and he confirms that it indeed is not him******

maria11981: yeah

me: what the hell kind of grammar are they teaching you people up there? which school do you go to again?

*****I know very well what school Jonathan goes to, but I am

maria11981: What are you talkin bout?

BUZZ!!!

me: it wouldnt be "i seen" it would be "i saw"

maria11981: Are you a teacher?

me: no, and you arent Jonathan

maria11981: Oh really

maria11981: Listen here you little whore, I am sick and tired of your shit. Do you realize who the fuck I am?

maria11981: I am JOHN THOMPSON THE LEGEND!!!

maria11981: DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME NOW?

maria11981: YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT

me: maybe you could explain who the hell John Thompson is

maria11981: ME!

maria11981: John Thompson the man, the myth, the LEGEND

maria11981: I AM A LIVING LEGEND

maria11981: profiles.yahoo.com/c5m

maria11981: http://profiles.yahoo.com/c5m THAT IS ME!

maria11981: DON'T FUCK WITH ME AGAIN WHORE

BUZZ!!!

maria11981: Say something

maria11981: bitch

me: i dont know what your deal is... i have no idea who you are or how you think you know me

maria11981: You know, you know!

me: ok, whatever

maria11981: I HAVE TO GO I WILL TALK TO YOU LATER

me: i doubt that

A few other thoughts... At first I was wracking my brain about who would know that I know Jonathan. Then I looked at the c5m profile and saw that it had been created on 02/15/2003. The real name listed is "John" and the nickname is JT (John Thompson...) Also, the location given for both the Maria name and the c5m name are the same. I sent the entire chat to the real Jonathan and he thought it quite strange as well. I think this person is either actually named John Thompson or else frequently uses that name, in other words, it really had nothing to do with me, he would have said it anyway. I don't know if this person thinks I am someone else and is angry at that person or if the whole thing was just someone's idea of a joke. I would like to point out to Mr. c5m, however, that it is pretty simple to sign on under your own screen name even if you are at someone else's house. Fucking idiot.

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