terrible

Oh my god this is a horrible feeling. I was sort of uneasy all day. Actually I've been worrying a lot about Adam recently. Not because of anything particular that was happening, or that he has been doing. I just had a bad feeling.

So just now I got a call from him saying he isn't coming over tonight. Why? Because he's in the emergency room. He tripped over something, fell into a speaker, and he's pretty sure he broke a rib. He's been there 2 hours and he hasn't seen a doctor. I could hear the pain in his voice. And his friends and his dad are there and I can't be. I have no way to get there and be there for the person I love more than anything in this world. Yes, he's going to live. But I should fucking be there damnit. I called Mark to see if he could take me up there but didn't get an answer.

I just feel sick, and my stomach hurts and I can't decide it I want to cry or be angry or what. Fuck. Fuck this.

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